


mon chéri // l.s

by larrysneckveins



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28856676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrysneckveins/pseuds/larrysneckveins
Summary: ❝toi soleil, tentatrice,regarde ce que tu me faismon chérie.❞lowercase intended
Relationships: Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Gigi Hadid/Zayn Malik, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Maya Henry/Liam Payne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. 01

louis and eleanor are getting married. despite what the fans may think louis is actually deeply in love with eleanor calder. he agrees with the fans in the way that he is much closer to harry than the rest of the boys but harry was his best friend, his brother. louis was so happy when eleanor said yes to his proposal. most people aren't all too fond of public proposals but el has always been one fore extravagant gestures.

it came as a shock to everyone when louis called eleanor on stage before they sang 18 -which was the 2nd song out of a 23 song setlist- and gave her a long, romantic speech before dropping down on one knee and pulling a gorgeous ring from his pocket. it was clear to everyone around them that harry was completely distraught. it was clear to the fans, the boys, security, even eleanor -who gave him a sinister smile at the time- everyone except louis. everyone but the one person he wanted to notice.

to be completely honest harry wanted to curl up in a ball and cry his eyes out but he just couldn't. firstly, he had a show to finish. secondly, he didn't want to ruin louis' happiness because he was selfish. he can't lie and say that he didn't have a meltdown when zayn pulled him aside some point towards the end of the show and spoke to him quickly.

what really broke him was during the meet and greet at the end of the show. a fan came up to the boys and got everything signed, normal procedure. she then asked to hug them all and when she got to harry she said to him 'don't worry if it's meant to be you will find your way to each other, no matter how long it takes, just hold on mon chéri.' for some reason what she said stuck with harry so he waited.

he waited for what seemed like forever. but he knew he should stop waiting when a letter came through the door on january 15th addressed to him. he knew what it was. he could recognize louis' messy scrawl that was on the front of the letter from a mile away. he just couldn't bring himself to open it. it was today the 21st of january -freddie's birthday- when he finally opened it. and when he did believe me he was shell-shocked.

his birthday. really. what the hell. he decided to call louis.

"louis, what the hell,"

"what is it harry i'm busy," louis drawled.

"my birthday, really. you had all year and you picked my birthday to host your wedding," harry said angrily starting to tear up.

"harry i-" louis stopped trying to gather his words.

"there's nothing to say louis. i'll go to your wedding and watch you marry someone who doesn't care about you half as much as you think. but i won't and i can't let this go," harry says before cutting off the call and throwing his phone across the room. when he goes to pick up his phone he sees tons of voice mails from louis and one each from the boys.

niall- hey h. i just saw my invitation and it's not fair on you at all. i can try and talk to lou but i doubt he will budge seeing as the date is so close.

liam- hey haz, i'm guessing you've got your invitation and i would just like to apologize on behalf of louis. that really was messed up and you definitely don't deserve that at all. i just hope you will still go and support him with this, it is really important to him especially seeing as jay isn't here with him.

zayn- hi harry, just calling to let you know that i don't like what louis has done at all. if i'm being completely honest he had mentioned it previously and me, the other lads and even paul tried to persuade him to pick another date. but he kept insisting saying that it was what el wanted and that he wouldn't deny her that no matter what the day was. i understand if you don't go to the wedding and to be completely honest i don't think i want to go either. but harry your his groomsman does that not show how much you mean to him even if it's not in the way you wish. think on it and call me back mate. i'm always here even if you need me at 3 in the morning.

harry decided he would ignore louis' seeing as he wasn't really in the mood to talk to him or even hear his stupid voice at the minute. what did eleanor calder have the he didn't? sure, she had boobs and a vagina but she didn't have curls or green eyes or some of the most sentimental tatoo's on the planet that is earth. so what was it?

harry also decided that he didn't care about louis william tomlinson anymore. ok that's a lie, he is still very much in love with the man but he can't have him so why bother. despite it only being 7pm, harry put on a white shirt with only half of it's buttons done up, some black ripped jeans, a good old fedora and a pair of chelsea boots ready to leave the house and get drunk.

harry knew it probably wasn't the best idea to walk in to a packed club without any security and without anyone knowing where he was but in the moment it didn't matter, not to him at least. he just needed one night where he wasn't famous and could go to bars and clubs and not be noticed. he could see people taking pictures of him but it honestly didn't register in his mind how much trouble he would get into, due to him already being on his 5th drink. imagine the headlines 'one-direction star harry styles drunk in nightclub after tomlinson wedding dates are confirmed'.

harry could hear the scolding he would get from the lads tomorrow. let alone the ones he would obviously be getting from simon and management. harry got fed up of drinking after 4 pints, 7 shots and a bottle of vodka and figured dancing would be better. he found a lovely young lad on the dancefloor, obviously no older than 30 and started grinding nastily upon him. harry was not ready for the hell that would come tomorrow.


	2. 02

the sun article

one direction star harry styles was caught out drinking and dancing last night at the infamous wine-bar and night club that is 17black. fans of the star -also known as larries- speculate that harry was there due to being upset about bandmate louis' recent engagement and release of wedding dates. it seems fair enough to us here at the sun that styles is upset seeing as his supposed lover has taken his 27th birthday to get married and even inviter the singer and his family.

to some this may seem like a sweet gesture. not being able to marry the one you love publicly so choosing a date significant to them to marry someone in place of them. but we think this is appalling. especially if the larry stylinson rumors are false. here's what we know.

last night via instagram live louis tomlinson confirmed to us that himself and long-time girlfriend -now fiance- eleanor calder would be tying the knot on the 1st feb 2021. at first we thought nothing of it but when tweets started coming in saying that the wedding date was bandmate styles' birthday we grew more interest in the topic. it seemed on the live -that we were present for- that tomlinson either did not realize that it was harry's birthday or simply did not care. when comments started coming in on this fact via the live chat tomlinson seemed to look at least slightly upset and realized what he had done. this did not last long however seeing as soon after the soon-to-be-wife walked in and the mood became light and airy.

the night seemed to be different for styles though. he was first seen leaving one of his three hampton homes to take the nearly two hour long journey west to cirencester home of the infamous 17black. he was spotted by multiple fans walking into the club free of any security in quite the attractive outfit. some of his numerous tatoo's were on show, and honestly nobody minded one bit.

styles was seen drinking excessively when inside of the club some fans even saying he drunk up to 4 pints, a few shots and even a bottle of vodka. after that it didn't come as a shock to us when we saw videos of the 26-year-old doing his own dirty dancing with a supposed stranger in the club. video's are circulating of styles grinding on the stranger but are seemingly being taken down, most likely by his management. we do not know what is going on but as soon as we find out the sun will give you the scoop.

end of article.

"harry what the hell were you thinking"

"what is this styles"

"what is wrong with you"

"harry you could have been mobbed you know how crazy the fans are"

"why did you not at least bring security"

all the shouting around him didn't make his terrible hangover any better and he desperately wanted to shout back and explain why he went out but he couldn't because louis was in the room and he was not about to out himself to everyone. well zayn, liam and niall knew he liked louis but they thought it was more of an exception because that's what harry told them. but it wasn't like that, not at all but no one could no. harry felt a tap on his shoulder.

"haz what's up? talk to me please." louis said desperately.

"what's up you know all too well what's up," harry said rudely, "and no i wont talk to you, i would have thought you'd have figured that by the fact that i ignored all of your calls."

"harry edward styles get your ass up out of this chair now we are working this out i don't care if you don't want to talk to me or not," louis shouted.

"you know what fine, but don't expect me to listen or talk," harry rolled his eyes and left his seat following louis out the door.

"harry, you do know i didn't choose the wedding date right. and it completely slipped my mind until the fans brought it up and i feel really bad and if i could change it i would but i don't want to upset el because this is about her as well and it wouldn't be fair to her to postpone the wedding for one tiny thing,"

"a tiny thing. louis we have had plans for my birthday since before you proposed to her but this isn't all about you and eleanor. did you even stop for 5 minutes and consider how i would feel, how this will affect the band," harry yelled

"how you feel? the band? harry this is my big day, i finally get to marry the person i love and you're making it about you,"

"i'm making it about myself, that's funny considering your wedding is on my birthday. and what do you mean my feelings. i feel like i've lost the one person i can count on, my best friend, the one person who i know better than my own damn self. and the band, well, let's use our brains shall we tommo," i said feigning calmness, "we're in the middle of a tour and you about to get hitched and go on an almost month long honeymoon. think about how that will affect the band and then try and talk to me again."

harry walked off caring not for whatever the doncaster lad may have had to say. he stayed until the end of the meeting not listening or saying a word too out of it to actually care. honestly, harry can't believe he basically told his best friend to either change his wedding plans or lose a friend. that isn't harry. harry is all for treating people with kindness and what he just did was not that. de he feel bad? yes, of course but he couldn't take it back, it was too late now. he wouldn't be surprised if he got a message from louis saying not to go the wedding. as soon as that thought crossed his mind his phone chimed with a message from louis.

louis- hey haz. um i just want to let you know i am so so sorry for earlier. i should have thought about everything beforehand and it was selfish of me. i know we made plans for your birthday but el got in my head and convinced me that our wedding was more important. how about me you and the lads go out on the 31st i know it's not ideal and you won't get what you originally wanted but i thought i'd ask. and just so you know i'd still love to have you as my best man because your still my best friend and i still love you mate. i'd also love to still be your best friend, if you'll have me of course.


	3. 03

for the next week or so harry received numerous calls from the boys, gemma, his mum, even louis' sisters. he only answered his mum once and told her he was alright before cutting off the call. it was quite rude but harry just wasn't in the mood for anything. he hadn't eaten at all over the past week and at one point the boys were going to break down his front door. in all honesty, the damage done to them would have been worse but in the end it was all a hoax to get him out of bed.

harry got a text from liam about 10 minutes ago maybe saying that they would be there in about 15 minutes with keys and to be ready to go. go where? he doesn't know all he knows is that he doesn't want to go so he isn't going to go. he went straight back to doing what he has done for the last week. sleep. it didn't feel like long before he could hear a shrill scream most likely belonging to niall. harry doesn't blame him the flat is in a complete state from a little situation after their meeting last week. harry ended up getting drunk again and he wrecked his whole apartment. since then all he has done is sleep and he has yet to clean things up.

"god, this has really messed him up hasn't it. i've never seen him this bad," niall said solemnly. 

"yep, but there's nothing you can do about it," harry shouted from the bedroom.

harry had already made up his mind. he had ultimately mad the decision to leave the band. it was a hard thing to do but it was best for him. he knew it was selfish and unfair but he had to do it for himself, he had to put himself first for once. his mental health has been horrible lately and during the past week his condition has only deteriorated. he figured being around the man he loves who just got married wouldn't help all that much either.

he hadn't confirmed anything with simon yet but he honestly didn't care. wether or not simon agreed would be leaving. he wanted to tell the boys but he wouldn't be able to explain why and they would undeniably want an explanation but that was something he would have to deny them. he doubts that he will carry on with music after he leaves. he will most likely go home, back to holmes chapel and work at the bakery with barbs again. god he missed that woman more than anything.

harry realized that he wasn't going to ask simon's permission to leave the band. at the wedding he would just say his speech as the best man give louis the note, which he is to read with the boys present, send off a pre-written tweet and drive off home with his bags packed and in the car. he didn't want it to come to this, no not at all. but there comes a point in life where you have to let go of the things you love to be truly happy. this was harry letting go of what he loves. his career, his bestfriend, his friends, his fans. the hectic life he grew to love somehow.

thinking about it, harry knew he would be leaving the day after tomorrow so he figured he may as well give the lads one last night with him before the wedding seeing as that would be the last time he saw them for a good while. two years at least, before he could come back. god, it sounds like he is leaving for good. well, in a way he is. he knows that when he comes back he won't be the same person. he'll be happier, healthier, he'll probably be over his eating disorder that nobody knows he has -well now someone knows- he'll probably be over his depression as well by then. maybe this is what he needs.

"harry come on we need to go," louis' voice chimed. louis. harry didn't realize he would be there. well a final goodbye to him as well then harry thought.

"lads what day is it," harry shouted.

"harry it's the 31st of jan mate you know that," zayn shouted. he didn't know though. it's a funny thing really when all you do is sleep time seems to pass by a lot quicker than when you are awake.

"right," harry said unsure, "i'll be out in a sec."

and in all honesty that was a lie. it was half an hour before harry left the house with the boys. body clad with the most amazing gucci jumpsuit with a black heeled boot to match. he far out-dressed all of the boys bar niall and louis.

niall was wearing a pair of purple pants a black shirt with a matching purple blazer whcih was slung lazily over his shoulder. louis on the other hand was wearing the exact same thing he wore to his mum's wedding but this time his suit jacket was also slung over his shoulder and the majority of his buttons were undone. liam and zayn we basically in the same thing. jeans and a shirt but liam just looked half naked with his majorly ripped jeans and open shirt and zayn looked like sex on legs as always.

*time skip brought to you by my laziness and unwillingness to write the clubbing scene, it basically went the same as harry's time alone but with all of them and harry started grinding on zayn instead. also this kind of switches to louis' pov/narration for a bit you will know when it's back to harry's.*

louis was fuming. harry was grinding nastily on zayn right in front of him. what's worse was that zayn was allowing it. what's even worse than that is that they both looked absolutely ruined, glassy eyes, messy hair and now they were kissing. christ's sake zayn could you maybe not do that at the table louis thought to himself.

louis didn't know why he was so angry about whatever was happening in front of him. and he wanted to understand why. but this was for harry's birthday so he can do what he wanted louis guessed. honestly he was getting married tomorrow so why was he so upset over his male best friend doing sexual stuff with another man. it's not like he was in love with him or anything.

that thought brought louis back to when he caught eleanor cheating on him with max he was so angry and just about ready to break up with her. but when she explained she thought he was cheating on her with another woman he instantly forgive her. it was around the time of the proposal so naturally louis was being secretive.

but they are two different situations. why does he feel the same about his best friends basically having sex with someone else in front of him as he did when he found out his now soon-to-be wife was cheating on him. louis then thought to check the time literally counting down the seconds to his wedding. it was then he saw that it was 2am and realized he had to be up in like 7 hours if he wanted to make it to his own wedding on time.

he suggested to the lads that they should go if they wanted to be ready for tomorrow. much to his horror, as they were all going their separate ways he saw harry and zayn getting into harry's rover together and driving off. oh well, louis though, i have el and we are getting married. on his drive home he kept thinking about his relationship with el and honestly, he regretted it, all of it. how stupid could he be to have not realized everything he could have ever wanted was right in front of him. right in front of him in the form of his best friend harry styles.

it upsets him that he hadn't seen it sooner. he had always gravitated towards harry even after himself and el moved in together. he spent more than half the time with harry and even more time towards the proposal. subconsciously louis always knew he loved harry more than a friend but he knew that it would never work because he had seen it before. he couldn't do that to himself or harry, that must break a person so horribly. and he couldn't do it. not to harry.

he was still going to marry el. it would be a loveless marriage, not for himself anyway. he would marry her because he doesn't want to hide who he is. even if he didn't realize then that he would be doing that anyway by marrying eleanor jane calder soon to be eleanor jane tomlinson.


	4. 04

today was the day. the day harry lost his best friend. the day he lost the life he was now so used to living. but this had to be done. he had to find himself through the madness that was his life and his own thoughts. he decided that he would at least put a little bit of effort in today seeing as it was his last day here. he put on one of his favorite suits and styled his hair. he put a thin coat of some black quick dry nail varnish on and put a small bit of blush on his cheeks. he made sure his phone was fully charged up and that he has some cash and his bank card on him before packing up the last of his stuff and putting it in the car. he got a quick cinnamon dulce frappe on the way and drove off to the outdoor venue.

god, louis really didn't have a say in this wedding, he would never choose outdoors, harry thought to himself, he wanted to get married in the same place his mum did. he wouldn't mind being outside afterwards for pictures and such but after his mum's passing he dreamed of getting married where she did. how did harry know you ask? louis told him. it was the day of the wedding and louis went to harry and just said i want to get married here one day haz, do you reckon i will and all harry did was smile and nod before walking away to speak to the new bride.

harry had always loved jay. he couldn't get a thing past her mind you. she knew from the second time she met harry that he was already smitten for her son. she supported it fully and always treated harry as if he was her own son and honestly harry basked in jay's love for him. it was strange really, his own parents had always loved him and he was never neglected. for him it just must have been nice to be loved by someone so close to the lover he could never had.  
all of this made him miss jay even more than he already did but he couldn't cry, he had to stay strong. but he couldn't help it.

what's worse for him is that he was at the venue so he didn't have any time to compose himself before he had to walk in. he only had to walk in because niall had spotted him and opened his mouth but that didn't shock him much at all, niall had always been a talker and harry loved that about him. the fact that he would say things even though it wasn't the right time or place or that it might get him in trouble. before he started to get emotional again he got out of the car and walked over to the boys not knowing his eyes were still red-rimmed with a few remaining tears left in them.

"harry what's up mate. be happy for me today, yeah," louis said.

"yeah, yeah it's not that it's just someone i was thinking about on the drive here," harry said lowly.

"what's wrong haz. is everyone alright," louis questioned concerned.

"everythings fine lou, was just thinking about your mum and how much she would have loved to be here with you today, you know," he hugged louis as much as he didn't want to, knowing he wouldn't want to let go. louis hugged him back and they both stayed there for what seemed like ages before he was reluctantly the first to let go, louis' touch lingering on him for longer than it should have. he noticed louis' eyes were slightly teary but brushed off the feeling of guilt that was slowly looming over him.

harry honestly zoned out for the majority of the ceremony until it go to the vows. louis of course went last seeing as eleanor felt the spotlight needed to be on her.

el's vows:

"louis i have had the pleasure of being with you for the past 6 years now and i have honestly never found myself happier than when i am around you. i admire you and absolutely everything you do. you are a brilliant dad to freddie and he is probably more in love with you than i am. i love your voice and the fact that you keep your accent when you sing and that makes you even more unique and amazing than you already are. i want so badly to be able to explain all the love i have for you. not the love of butterflies and stomach knots but more the blurring of self and the entanglement with another soul. love is a word that is much too soft and used far too often to ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that i have in my heart for you. you are a million dreams and a million prayers of a little girl come true. you are kind. you are silly. your laugh is contagious and you can put away an entire baskin robbins ice cream cake in one sitting like nobody else can. you acknowledge my strengths and accept my faults. you make me want to be a better person every day. i take you as you are now, tomorrow and for eternity to come, to be my husband. even when the day comes that we're old and gray, i promise to always see you with the same eyes and the same heart that i see you with at this exact moment."

louis' vows

"el, i was drawn to you from the day we met. your warm and inviting eyes and your magnetic smile softened my bad boy facade immediately. i remember wanting to have, and sometimes making, reasons to talk to you. to see you beam that amazing smile back at me, immediately putting me at ease and brightening my day. i love that we started out as friends. that is my favorite part. you truly saw me. you understood me, accepted me, in a way no one else has, in a way that I believe no one else can. you are my best friend and i'm so grateful for our special brand of weird. to me, it means more than just being silly. it signifies a special, profound, unfettered love for each other. it's loving each other at our most intimate, vulnerable times. it colors our tapestry with yet unnamed, exotic colors, known only to the two of us. but as much as i do love you, you're not the person i'm in love with. you are the person i am completely and utterly head over heels for. and my freddie absolutely loves you to bits," freddie scowled at this, well as much as a 4 year old can smile, "and you took him in as if he was your own and you are so amazing with him. you are supportive of my career and you don't mind that i have to travel much or that i always have someone other than you that wants to be with me. and i love the fact that you are so carefree but also have to remind me that too much maccies is bad for me health. i love you eleanor jane tomlinson."

harry broke at that. he knew it was coming but he hadn't prepared himself for it if that makes any sense. he had spent so much time thinking about louis and not the fact that today he would hear the two profess their love for each other. he tended to avoid them together in the past and ignored eleanor all together. she once tried to have a conversation with him and he just glared at her practically hissing before walking away. it was jay that made him realize if he couldn't have louis the way he wanted then he should keep him as close as possible.

that was actually the last thing jay had said to him and it made him realize that by doing what he had planned to do he was going against jay's last wish for him and couldn't do that. what happened next terrified him. it was almost like jay was stood next to him telling him to go through with it and that she would look after louis while he was away. promising that she wouldn't let louis get too deep into this mess with eleanor, assuring harry that he didn't actually love her. and harry believed that she would look after him. so he sent her a mental ok, that he would still leave.


	5. 05

T/W: HOMOPHOBIC SLURS USED LATER IN CHAPTER (I HATE USING SLURS OF ANY KIND AND I APOLOGISE)

the next thing harry knew he was back in his car heading off to the reception whilst the newly-weds got their pictures taken before it started raining. in the kindest way possibly harry hoped it rained while they were picture taking. but he also didn't because that meant the experience would be ruined for louis and he would hate that. then, harry found himself at the reception hall. he has to admit it was beautiful covered in mainly blue decorations but with subtle hints of green. just like the ceremony harry zoned out and was brought back to it when louis, who had sat next to him at some point, nudged him that it was his turn to speak. harry went up and composed himself trying hard not to cry.

"first i'd like to congratulate the very happy couple on their new marriage. now as the best man i suppose i'm meant to tell embarrassing stories about the groom and i will get to that but first i'd like to tell you all something about louis. i was talking to louis' mum not long before she passed and we were talking about lou and lottie when they were little and how when lottie would get picked on by some girls in the year above her at school louis would try his damn hardest to protect her even if it would get him in trouble and that got me thinking that louis was just like that. that, the protective big brother was just who he was. i remember one time when the band had just started i was getting some really disgusting comments but i remember louis found me reading them and took my phone away from me and just sat with me comforting me for hours while i cried and after that he sent out a tweet if i remember rightly saying something along the lines of 'my best friend has been crying in my arms for hours because of some of your comments. please next time before you post something hurtful think about what you are doing and wether or not you would like the same thing to be said to you' and i remember thinking at that moment that i had found the person that i wanted to keep in my life forever. not romantically, but just to have that someone there as a constant shoulder to cry on. now i've got you all emotional i guess i should expose louis just a little bit. one of my funniest memories with louis happened the day after we moved into our place at princess park and i was cooking in the kitchen with nothing but an apron on, as you do, blasting my music. obviously that meant i didn't hear louis open the door. i took off the apron seeing as i was done cooking also thinking i was alone and went and sat in the lounge completely oblivious to louis' presence until i was going to sit down and he made himself known. my flamboyant self didn't care about the fact that i was naked in front of my best mate. in my eyes it was like being in front of a sibling, louis didn't feel the same though. you know those screams in the movies when the main character wakes up to a load of weird stuff in their house, well he sounded like that. and let me tell you it was the girliest scream i have ever heard. anyway, another story before i go and sit down and louis starts hitting me. it must have been our first new year in princess park and louis and el had just got together. we held a party at our place and everyone was there. then not long after midnight i saw lou and el sneak off probably to have sex. it wasn't long after they left that the party ended, that's another thing about louis, always the life of the party but that's not the point of this though. everyone had left by then and i saw a few people who's faces i couldn't make out and i just left them where they were. i was drunk mind you absolutely smashed. what i didn't realize until morning though was that i had ended up hopping in bed with louis and eleanor who were both naked. it only came to my attention in the morning when i woke up to a hungover, tired louis with his eyes fully closed pressing sloppy, wet kisses all over my face most likely thinking i was el. and i have to give it to her, if he does that every morning i salute her because with my single experience with it i can tell you his morning breath stinks. like it reeks. anyway i pushed him off of me and onto the floor shocked by the fact that he was naked. he noticed and screamed which woke el up and i just covered my eyes and left the room stepping on louis at some point during my exit. it was a bit rushed and messy because it's one thing seeing your best mate who is pretty much your brother naked, but it is another thing seeing said best mate's girlfriend naked too. well that's all i have to say really other than congratulations to louis and el and i wish you the best."

and harry was right as soon as he got back over to my table with louis he reached across to him and playfully slapped harry scolding him, mainly for the second story. it was then simon came over to us and with him it could never be anything good.

"ahh, harry just the faggot *i hated typing this word* i was looking for," simon hissed.

"excuse me simon?" harry said.

"you heard me styles. your in love with tomlinson aren't you, your one of those gays aren't you, speak up then styles," he practically growled.

"no, no i'm not simon. that's just your own twisted mind making stories up so you can spit your abuse to others. oh and just so you know simon it's not a gay mans fault your wife is cheating on you," harry spat back.

"lou take this letter and read it with the rest of the lads. only you four can know about this, promise me you will do it as soon as possible," harry said trying to gather up his things before simon could say anything else, but he was apparently too slow.

"everyone, a toast, to harry, always the groomsman, never the groom." simon smirked evily as harry left the room after that. followed by louis getting the lads and going to a private room explaining the situation.

*time skip brought to you by me wanting to write the letter *

the letter

boys,

this is by far one of the hardest letters i have ever had to write. i'm sorry but i'm leaving the band, i'm leaving in general. not forever, but for a while. don't worry you haven't seen the back of me just yet. not for a long while. i am writing this to tell you why i am leaving. it would have been easy enough to tell you i was going and pack my bags and leave but you need this explaination. i'd like to start of by saying i don't want any of you blaming yourselves, especially after you have read this. i also know this is hypocritical of me seeing as i scolded louis just the other week for trying to go on a honeymoon during tour. but i had to do this, because i couldn't take it anymore. i feel like niall, liam and zayn will know why i have left by now but lou you don't so i guess this is me telling you. i love you lou, so much. i don't know when the feelings started but they have been there for a while. to be honest i would probably still be in the band if it wasn't for your mum louis. but it's not a bad thing. she made me realize how i felt about you. she's an amazing woman your mum, and we were closer than you think. i tried to visit her at least once a week after she was diagnosed but then we went on tour and i couldn't see her as often although i did facetime her every wednesday. you know the last thing she said to me was that if i couldn't love you the way i wanted to that i should keep you as close as possible. that's what i was thinking about in the car this morning it almost made me want to stay. then i heard her speak to me during the ceremony after you read your vows, they were beautiful, your mum persuaded me to leave. told me that she would look after you whilst i looked after myself. i'm sorry for not telling you lou but you look so happy with el and i could never ruin your happiness. i would feel horrible. zayn, thank you for everything mate and you too niall and liam. i'm sorry i didn't tell any of you about this but you would have guilt-tripped me into staying but i couldn't stay any longer i was and still am so mentally exhausted and i just need to find myself again. i should be back in about two years if everything goes right. if not, zayn good luck with gigi, niall find your girl, liam tell maya she was right and lou i love you and i'm sorry and i guess i'll see you all whenever.

-H


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